24 March 2024
First written January 27, 2021
During Covid a lot of us have had that feeling of not being seen so much, we feel less visible and known to the word. If you feel this way let's be honest, you're not exaggerating. I get it, we literally are not being seen nearly as much as we were this time last year and well, it's been this way for almost 11 months.
I decided to go shopping in November and again in January because you know what? Things are very much still happening in fashion as well as in my spirit and I deserve to be self-expressed. My new coat and boots arrived yesterday and I wore them around the block as I took my morning walk. I felt really good in my new look. The only person I made eyes with and shared words was my super who held the door as I entered. I felt like he gave a bigger hello than usual and he even gave salams for the first time. He's a non-practicing Muslim from Albania (I recently learned this). I felt that feeling again of the joy people feel when they see me at my best.
I was in a bit of a fashion slumber for a few months and I recently woke up to it when I heard from a stylist who gave a spirited talk about being intentional and aligned and how much our personal style is about that. We're either aligned or not. Being intentional or not. One things for certain is that through fashion we're always communicating something.
It's not about who's seeing me.
I used to wear... let's call it unthoughtful clothing in my neighborhood if I was just going out for a 15 minute stroll to move my body and get some sun. I though it was okay. I wasn't totally busted but if you saw me you might say- "Nzinga, is that you?".... "No!" lol 😆.
I only noticed I had fallen into a slump recently when I spent the holidays in NJ with my folks. I brought some nice clothes with me but we stayed pretty local for the entire 2 weeks that I was there and I was okay with it because I'd had such a busy time in the weeks prior I was happy to have an abundance of unscheduled time. I committed to going for walks at least every other day and with my old way of thinking threw on some tapered sweatpants or loose jeans, my sneakers, a coat that used to be cool but is a lil old now and just headed out for my walk. I had no expectations for my life with this outfit on. No thoughts of who might see me and how I was representing myself. It was Nzinga in the raw... or better yet Nzinga in the poor... cause literally that's kinda how I looked. Just not amazing!
...things are still happening, life is still happening, love is still happening, YOU ARE STILL HAPPENING!
Regardless of anything that's happening, even the tragedy of Covid and it's domino effect on our social lives things are still happening, life is still happening, love is still happening, YOU ARE STILL HAPPENING! There's no better reminder of this for me than the fact that I have 2 Bridal clients right now. One fabulous artist who's marrying the man of her dreams and another childhood friend who I always though was fabulous- she's celebrating her 2nd marriage. Both women in their 40's. Dream clients really. The 1st is literally my ideal customer prototype and the 2nd is too but in a different way, one of my 1st fashion designer experiences was when I was 19 working on her wedding dress with my uncle! She was the most glorious looking Muslima bride I'd seen and I got a chance to be a part of making that happen.
So back to showing up AS YOU ARE! Let's think about what that really means. What do we really mean by wanting to be seen and accepted for who we are? Who are we really? No matter what your spiritual tradition is or depending on it scripture says- You are beautifully and wonderfully made. The creator tells you that God is beautiful and he loves beauty. There's nothing stated about the human being that says who we are when we are people of faith is lowly or should be expressed as such. We're told to put on our best clothes and celebrate life.
"For people to see you for who you are you need to express it and show them. That has always meant and included fashion."
Bottom line is you don't need a reason. No, better yet you are the reason. For you to be who you are you need to be it, embody it. For people to see you for who you are you need to express it and show them. That has always meant and included fashion.
You won't feel good in old shoes or clothing you don't believe in and like I said life is truly still happening. People are still getting married, having children. all of it. As someone said to me, the manager at my local grocery store may have a son or brother he'd introduce me to.
You have the power to make a person smile or make them frown. You know this, other people have had that power over you too. So what are you going to do?
Show up as yourself. Let God handle the rest!