I'm here. Written 3/9/2022

24 March 2024

I'm here. Written 3/9/2022

I have been waiting for me. 

I never gave up on me. 

It's why NzingaKnight.com and the real life version of Nzinga Knight, the designer has always existed in some form for all of the past 20 years. 

I needed to get something clear. 

It's that my worth and value exists in nothing that has anything to do with this world. My worth and value is absolute. It is clear and un-waivering. It was established at birth, no pre-birth. I can't do anything about it like i can't do anything about Allah except value him and act in accordance with my knowledge of him or suffer in the absence of his recognition. He is who he is and what he creates and determines about what he created is truth and there's nothing I can do about the truth except recognize it or suffer from my ignorance. 

I used to care about the fashion industry and that was a big problem because the fashion industry isn't something to care about. It's not only big and vast but it's by definition insignificant and an illusion. As fashion is ever-changing, to invest ones care into that aspect is missing the point. To invest my care into being excellent at expressing myself, be excellent at being a conduit for what The Creator wants to bring into existence through me.... now that is worth my time and attention. 

But I was popular and well liked throughout the New York fashion industry from the time I was in college. I was going to Fashion Week shows while no other students even thought to go and I'd sit oftentimes in the first few rows. I was friends with and would often visit owners of fashion houses, factory owners I knew, designers I used to work with or met just to talk and learn from them. I was personable and felt like I belonged. I had connections. I still do and this has always been a key part of my personality. I authentically connect with people. You might see me talking to someone deep in convo and think it's just that moment but no, we've likely been friends for 15 years and you didn't know, or we were in some group together. 

Just yesterday I was cleaning and organizing my studio which has for months been a neglected room in the South-West corner of my apt. I came across a letter from Nancy Whiskey/ Canon